Falling in love is great and amazing, I know it because I am in love with my beautiful wife and every time I think about our union I feel excited and hopeful for our future. As we continue to learn about each other daily, I constantly ask myself and God about the best way to be a husband, friend, father and lover to my wife and expectant baby.
Now before I got married I always ask myself some very important and hard questions before jumping into any relationship or commit to getting married. I believe you have to ask yourself some few questions also before deciding to spend the rest of your life with another person – a partial stranger, don’t set yourself up for failure. Marriage is one of the best and most beautiful creation of God – but it requires hard work.
Today we have a very high rate of divorce and failed marriages because a lot of people entered into the marriage union without proper preparation. They felt love is enough to carry them through and missed the important elements of marriage. You need to be real with yourself! There are many solid questions you need to ask yourself even before you interrogate your potential spouse.
Well, here are my 20 questions that I think every single person should ask him or herself before you decide to get married.
1. Do I truly know what commitment, sacrifice and faithfulness is?
2. Am I spiritual, emotional, mentally and financially ready for it?
3. Do I have unresolved issues with my parents or elders, and if so, am I taking steps to work through them?
4. Have I lived on my own, and if not, do I want to?
5. Where do I stand on having children? Do I want kids or not? Have I considered all possibilities?
6. Am I ready and willing to embrace my spouse’s family (including children he or she may have) as my own?
7. Do I know who I am and what I want out of life?
8. Does my joy and happiness only come from this person?
9. Am I still carrying sexual, emotional, behavioural and spiritual baggage from past relationships?
10. When it comes to the life I have dreamed of, what are the things that I consider non-negotiable?
11. Do I believe in traditional roles of a husband and wife in marriage, or do I expect something different?
12. Do I pretend when I am with him/her or I am myself?
13. Why do I want to marry this person? Are they great reasons?
14. What would be missing from my life if she or he weren’t in it?
15. Do we share the same values, principles and worldview?
16. Does he or she respects and value me? Do I?
17. Am I getting married because I want a wedding or because I want to be great marriage?
18. Do I feel pressure by my parents, family, friends, pastor or age to get married?
19. Does he or she bring something of value into my life?
20. Do I know how to submit and to love?
These are just a few of my thoughts, I am sure there are more which you know. Please ponder over it and make a clear and informed decision. Share with me your thoughts.
See you at the altar
For your RELATIONSHIP advice, coaching and speaking engagement email email@example.com or call 082 212 9438. Follow me on twitter @SolomonAshoms or like my page on facebook – Solomon Izang Ashoms