I have a confession to make, football is my second wife. After my first wife this is one game I love so much. I am a huge fan since time immemorial. As a journalist, I have covered FIFA World Cups in Germany 2006, South Africa 2010 and Brazil 2014, interviewing world class footballers. I am also very aware that football is all about MISTAKES. The defenders and goalkeepers need to make mistakes for the opposition to score a goal and win the game. It’s the same thing with our lives, romance, marriages and relationships.
Soccer player, husband and father of three girls – Senzo Meyiwa, made some terrible marriage mistakes outside of his usual tuff, the football field, these I felt contributed in bringing an end to this great and passionate individual’s life.
For the records Senzo met his wife Mandisa Mkhize in Johannesburg in 2005. They got married in 2013 and barely a year later he was seeing (cheating with) singer Kelly Khumalo albeit without Mandisa’s knowledge. Mandisa later found out and a saga ensued with Kelly assaulting Mandisa. Senzo has gone back and forth between the two women over the past year and recently went public with Kelly by his side. Are we surprised that he was murdered while with her?
This is the very same Senzo who had professed his Christian faith publicly, inscribed bible scriptures on his football kit and he never ceased to glorify God for every victory. His wife Mandisa told a newspaper, “He is a real believer and he reads the Bible at every chance he gets. I love his dedication and commitment. He is my hero, a real sweetheart.” This is not to condemn Senzo but instead learning from his marriage flaws, life and family. Senzo, like all of us struggled with sin, his was the sin of infidelity and it gradually led him to his death-bed, sadly. He could have avoided his death if he had rejected making these 5 marriage mistakes.
Here are 5 marriage mistakes which I believe killed Senzo:
1. LACK OF SELF-LEADERSHIP KILLED HIM
On the football field Senzo was both captain of his football club Orlando Pirates and South Africa. He was a great leader on the football field, but on the home front he was unfortunately not proficient as a leader. Now I am not just talking about leadership expression by providing the financial, emotional and social need of his wife and three baby girls, which he did with great results. I am referring to leading by example as a husband and father in a country that is seriously lacking in this area. We are all aware that his own father had to bring him to book regarding this, the Kelly issue.
2. LACK OF INTEGRITY KILLED HIM
Senzo himself confessed to his lack of integrity after his wife found out about his relationship with “the other woman”, Kelly Khumalo. He said, ‘This is all my fault. I lied to them [Kelly and Mandisa]”. Wherever integrity is missing it hurts everyone connected to you, isn’t it. “I approached her [Kelly] and she asked if I am married. But I wasn’t man enough to tell her the truth. As a result, she fell in love with me.” Senzo added.
3. LACK OF FAITHFULNESS KILLED HIM
Kelly only found out he was married five months into their relationship, by then his wife had also heard about the affair when a colleague showed her Kelly’s Instagram account with so many photos of the two of them. Being a Christian himself, Senzo knew the importance of faithfulness to one partner as a husband, but he failed to implement it. His wife said, “When I saw pictures of them looking cosy I got the shock of my life. I was heartbroken and cried hysterically. I called Senzo and told him to respect me as a wife but he denied he was having an affair with Kelly”.
4. SIDE-CHICK KELLY KHUMALO
I know everyone has been blaming Kelly but I don’t see how she should solely be held responsible for his infidelity but then she is partially responsible for it, isn’t it? It takes two to tango. Kelly’s colourful past doesn’t help people’s opinion of her anyway, but for allowing herself to play the role of a mistress after discovering his marital status, she indeed contributed to his demise. Please don’t get me wrong, as I’m not suggesting she pulled the trigger or she arranged a hit on Senzo. However, if the relationship had ended earlier, we wouldn’t be mourning the death of Senzo today. Not surprising, when Kelly visited Senzo’s family she was chased away for bringing destruction into the Meyiwa family.
5. NOT LEARNING FROM HIS PAST
Mandisa was recently quoted in the Sunday Sun as saying: ‘I’m glad my husband is back home. I’m loving every moment. Senzo is a good man who loves his family. I support him in his career and we are now closer than ever.’ However, a few months ago Kelly revealed on social media that she was happily involved with the father of her second child. Senzo Meyiwa met his dead still married to Mandisa and in a relationship with his nyatsi (mistress) Kelly. The good thing about our mistakes is we could become victorious and overcome them whenever we make up our mind to not go back to them. Senzo never exercised this option of grace.
THE FINAL ANALYSIS
Now none of these 5 marriage mistakes pulled the trigger on Senzo. The trigger was pulled by some heartless criminals who don’t value life and lack respect for humanity. But these 5 mistakes surely contributed to Senzo’s demise.
As we mourn the life of the legendary Senzo Meyiwa, are we as men going to continue seeking for other relationships outside our wives? Are we going to say “do not judge because only God can judge me” like Tupac? Are we going to keep destroying our wives, children and home as we seek for temporal sexual gratification elsewhere? God forbid.
I feel Senzo was even dead long before he got shot by these merciless intruders. The way God made it, a married man is already dead whenever he is torn between the love of two women, whenever he fail to keep his covenant.
When I think about my own beautiful wife and son, I wonder if the same marriage mistakes which killed Senzo Meyiwa could kill me one day, if I let it that is. I don’t blame Senzo, I blame his mistakes.
Our deepest condolences go out to his wife, children, family, fellow soccer players, fans and yes, Kelly Khumalo, the nyatsi (the other woman). May our beloved Senzo’s soul rest in peace.
HAMBA KAHLE Senzo! Once a pirate, Always a pirate!
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