A friend made a statement the other day and it unsettled me the same way it’s unsettled me for a while now. She said “Thandi its a known fact that we are sleeping with our boyfriend’s in the church, it happens”.
The reason it unsettled me is not because she was off the mark, it unsettled me because we have made pre-marital sex the norm, the acceptable, the right thing to do. Well it is far from being right and never will be in the eyes of the one who created sex in the first place.
I’m not standing from a position of self-righteousness here. I have a beautiful 2 year old and may I assure you that she was not The Holy Spirit’s conception as per my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. It took a man and me to create her. It took sex, pre-marital sex as I’m not married, to create her. I have repented of pre-marital sex and now live sexually pure in God’s sight. In all My pre-marital sex days I have always been aware of it being a sin in God’s sight and I asked God to deliver me from it and He has. My point is, it had never gotten to a place where I accepted it as normal in my heart. I have always been aware of God’s frown on it. Which brings me to the point of this article.
I’m not disputing that there is pre-marital sex going on in the church, but I want to speak out against this spirit that’s creeping into the church of Jesus Christ, especially in our young people where our hormones are regarded as so powerful that God should understand how we absolutely cannot obey Him. I am not disputing the power of sexual urges/hormones, trust me I have them and will have them for as long as I live, but I’ve come to know that God has provided a way out of sexual sin…He says whatever is born of God overcomes the world and its appetites.
The dysfunctional normalcy of this particular sin has seen a dear brother in the church scoffing and telling me “arggg Thandi we are grown ups, and its tough to stop having sex when you’ve already started and this whole celibacy thing might work for you, but It wont work for me”. I told him, I think you’re partially right, it is a challenge, but its not impossible. About the being grown up part and having already done it before, what is the point? That when you reach a certain age you can pick and choose whatever part of God’s word you are going to obey like you would pick whatever movie you would want to watch over the other? Is that what we reduce Him to? And so if i’ve done it before, I dont have the right to repent and move on from that place? Should I be stuck in habitual sin because I’ve dabbled in it? Well I certainly dont think so! These things ought not to be so brethren.
No matter how much we normalise pre-marital sex due to peer pressure, brokenness or sheer rebellion, it will never be normal, at least not to the one to whom it matters most. It will never be right.
By virtue of not having created sex, we do not get to dictate the parameters of indulging in it. He does, and He already has. He has established it as sacred in a marriage. Marriage is the only licence for sex. Its not a democracy, its a love commandment from the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords. I thank Him for delivering me and giving me a fresh start. And I choose to honour His word, and yes I will wait until I’m married going forward. I gave Him my word and I want a testimony of purity leading up to my marriage should I decide to get married one day.
I pray that God will give us the wisdom to tap into the Grace provided to honour Him by honouring our bodies and keeping the temple pure from sexual immorality. Let him who has ears listen…
Whats your take on this?
Writer:Â Thandi Vellem